This section of the website is dedicated to updates and developments of the Hillie Billie from the highly esteemed viewpoint of the Hillie Billie mascot, spokesperson, website developer, and relay expert…. Introducing.... Billie the Goat.
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June 15, 2009
Hello Out There!
I am Hillie Billie the GOAT… that’s right, the Greatest Of All Time.
In case you’re wondering – which I am sure you are – it is NOT easy being Me. I mean, it is IMPOSSIBLE for a person. I hope this doesn’t sound like I am bragging (because I am not)… but it is not so hard for Me. That’s just part of the deal when you’re The Greatest. I know that sounds paradoxical, but it is not. Being Me is unfathomable for people like you, but fairly easy for goats like Me. I don’t mean to come of like a mammalist, but thank goodness I am not a person or some other sort of inferior mammal. I bet you didn’t know that goats were so wonderful!? Well, now you do. Of course, you still probably don’t fully recognize my exceeding fantasticness. It’s okay… I understand that it’s your DNA that holds you back so much, so you can not be blamed for this weakness too much. Regardless, hasn’t it been a real pleasure to make our acquaintance and to know a little about Me?! Of course it has, and I bet you thought today would be just another regular day. Just goes to show who knows what the day will bring!
I am organizing this relay, which I know you’ll enjoy. Obviously, I gave it the best name ever… christening it with my own namesake. The Hillie Billie Relay – can any other name be as cool and awesome as that?! I don’t think so. (Which means that, no, there is no other name as wonderfully terrific.)
I am also considering another thing that is pretty huge… and that is that I think… I THINK… dare I say it is likely (without totally getting your hopes way too high)… that the event shirts might bear My likeness on them!!! Sa-Weeeet, eh?! Feel free to work out the chills before reading on. It’s exciting, I know!
Please, do yourself a favor and write the following date down on one of those gadgets all of you use just to remember your appointments, communicate, listen to music, take pictures, surf the web, etc etc… (I do all of those in my head!)… Saturday, October 17, 2009. Not only will you be able to race an excellent relay on that day, but you will also get the once in a lifetime opportunity to meet Me!!! I will be out at the relay overseeing everything… hopefully while wearing one of My sensational shirts (but if I am not wearing one, then that will mean something went awry which likely means some human loused the works up)! Seeing Me shirtless doesn’t suck either, though.
Yours Truly With ALL of the Amazingness that only a Greatest Of All Time can possess,
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June 18, 2009
Lately, this dude and chick, Jay and Joy, have been kinda getting in my space a little. They’re acting like they’re getting things lined up for the relay as if some part of the relay depended on them. Most of the time, it’s really cute. But, if I have to be honest (which I do), sometimes it’s a little annoying. I mean, HELLO, I am here! If they were in charge of the event… well… I guess I would give them an E for Effort! It’s really for the best, though, that I am handling it. Well, duh!
For instance, the other night, they were trying to think of a tagline for the event. Such earnest attempts! When I wasn’t laughing, I almost felt like crying. While they were fairly pitiful on the whole, I at least could appreciate that most of the taglines had to do with goats, Myself in particular, or had other goat related themes. Also, the time wasn’t completely a waste as I was able to offer a golden nugget of advice… I spoke up to let them know that they should CERTAINLY NEVER EVER quit their day job. They thanked Me for My timely counsel, and, of course, it was a pleasure as usual to provide My profound insight.
The following were some of the taglines they bandied about…
• GoAt the Hills
• Gruff ‘Nuff?
• Hoof It!
• I’m no hillbilly! It’s Hillie Billie!!
• Herd of the Hillie Billie!?
• Gruff It Up
• Know da Feet, No Defeat!
• I’m a Lean, Mean, Grass Mowin’ Machine
• No More Mr. Silly Hillie Billie
• Get Your Gruff On
• From Good to Gruff
• Hills are just flat lands on a slant
• Run in the Gruff
• Goats Rule, dogs and cats drool
• You can not take the Hill out of Hillie Billlie. Otherwise, you would just have ie Billie.
• Are you a Hillie Billie? If not, condolences.
Why don’t you help these poor, but well meaning folks out by letting me know if you like any of these, or better yet… send a better tagline… please! My email is Hillie@hilliebillie.com
Always Cherish Me With Me,